Just thinking

I was wondering. When I get to wondering, you better fucking watch out. I wonder on the dumbest shit/ Like the other day I wondering about the different between a relationship and 'just dating'. I wan thinking about that due to the fact that it hit me that I haven't been in a 'relationship' for about 4 years now. Now don't get me wrong I have fucken dated in that time, this summer for a short time (a few months) I dated this gal named Mandy. We went on a few dates, had some fun, then she fucken cheated on me. But did she really cheat on me, if we were 'just dating' or was I using that to get out. Because in the few months we dated I never said "I Love You', but is that all that it takes to move 'just dating' to a relationship, I mean there has to me more, right? I feel that, I feel there has to be a lot more than that. It could be time, it could be the first time you say those three little words and mean (I mean really fucken mean it, I love my dog, but I don't LOVE my dog) It could be something deep down inside your hear, a feeling you might have for someone, I don't know I guess the fact of the matter is that it's different for everyone. So I guess I'm at the time of my life, were I shall try and get back in the game. For you see in a month or so I'm going to my 3rd FUCKING wedding this year, ya and I know of at least two more next year, on the books (see post in June for more info). SO as I say this I know there is someone out there for me, and I guess all that I can do is keep looking, I mean maybe it's not my time to find her. I don't know, what would I do if I found her, Mrs. Right, how would I act, how would I feel how would I talk. There have been a few gals over the past few years that have come into my life, but know of them felt right, like the one. It's been almost 4 years now, seen I broke it off with my fines, so now let's go from 'just dating' to a real fucking relationship, I know I'm ready. I mean ok I guess I'm ready, I just have to find her and hope to fuck that she likes me back. Were shall I find Mrs. Right, work, school, a bar, Cru (church) a bar or on the Internet, were ever I find he I hope I know when I have found her.